Write this Scene in Show Don’t Tell

Assume the point of view of one of the people in the scene or add a character of your own.


I climbed on top of the jeep, spitting sand out of my mouth. The wind spun another gust into my face, and I wiped sand from my eyes.

“They’re coming! They’re coming!” our guide pointed to the shapes blurred in the dancing sand.

Clearing my eyes again, I looked through the viewfinder of my camera. After tracking the herd for a month, I could not miss this shot. As long as the wind didn’t get stronger, I could do it.

“What a way to make a living,” Dean muttered, brushing sand from his grizzled beard.

Spitting again, I grinned, and the sand tried to burrow into my teeth. “I wouldn’t want to be any place else.”

6 thoughts on “Write this Scene in Show Don’t Tell

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      1. I had thought that poaching (either the people in the pictures are chasing poachers or are poachers) could be a fun route to take…
        I also considered scientists with tranquilizer guns…

        1. I have watched so many nature shows with my oldest that I know either of those scenarios would fit the picture. Science is a good excuse to send characters into unusual settings.

  1. Okay, I’ll give this a shot – the picture is so cool! I just hope I can do it justice 🙂

    I held my phone as high as I could reach without hopping on Dad’s new science support vehicle with Derek and Jay. No way would I risk scratching the paint, though at this point the overheating engine would make Dad just as mad. They could fess up to Dad, if we ever made it out of this uncharted death trap.

    “Come on, Verizon, give me a signal.” I grunted as I stuffed my useless phone back in my pocket. Great way to spend spring break. Why did I listen to Derek and Jay? We had like one granola bar and a fun-size M&M. I shook my head at the memory of Derek and Jay saying, “You’re a scientist’s kid. What could go wrong? We’ll sneak out at sunset with your daddy’s new rover, spend the night sand-duning, and park it by sunrise.”

    Yeah, well the sun’s rising, and here we are in the middle of sand and no-Verizon-land.

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