Welcome to my writing pages! The main focus of this website is to offer writing tips, prompts, and inspiration to writers, no matter what their genre or skill level. You’ll also find information on my published works and the ones in progress. My schedule for posting is:
Monday Sparks: Writing prompts to fan your creative flame.
Always a pleasure to introduce a new author at JPC Allen Writes. Kim Garee is a member of my local chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers and a fellow Buckeye. Her debut novel, Pressed Together, is historical fiction, set in rural Ohio right after World War II. When Kim told me the agonies she was having with her next book, I knew exactly what she meant, and I’m glad to share her post “Beginning Again: Starting the Next Draft”
A story captures my imagination, and putting it down on paper is exhilarating! It moves from my head to the page in a mixture of magic and sweat.
Not incidentally, my first novel launches next week! Its sequel, due to release in December, just became a complete first draft as of last week, and both of these milestones have me thinking about beginnings.
We always hear there are as many ways to begin a novel as there are writers. Lately, I’ve had the chance to consider, for the first time, whether the same might be true for the second draft (i.e., revisiting the gory scene of the first draft splatter).
One might suppose, with my first book on shelves in a week, that I’ve walked the Second Draft Path at least once. This is where I’m a little odd, though, and it’s okay to be appalled by this next confession. See, I wrote the first draft of Pressed Together roughly fifteen years ago, printed it to proofread, remembered I had zero connections in book publishing, and put the manuscript away. For years.
When the story haunted me, I dragged it out again and reread that first draft and, predictably, said, “Oh, no. This won’t do. I can do much better now.” So, I opened a blank document and wrote the novel all over again, from scratch. That’s right. I did that.
Then, I did it again a few years later, after it had once more gathered cyber dust. I actually opened a new doc and wrote it all over again. No edits to an existing doc like a sane person but, instead, re-birthing the entire plot.
Long story (stories) short, it’s being published now. All’s well that ends well, right?
Wrong.
Now, I have a brand new first draft of the sequel, and it needs revision. This time, I do not have the luxury of years to indulge my creative eccentricity. This time, I have a very real deadline. I have to edit the thing.
I suppose I never know what’s going to work for me until I jump in. I’ve heard some good advice from other veterans, like:
Save the first draft as its own copy so you don’t feel squeamish about deleting large passages you might regret losing later.
Read for “big” things, not line edits, this time through. Are characters and settings consistent? Are the scenes doing what they’re supposed to?
I’d really love to hear from other writers about approaching that second draft. In the spirit of exchange, I’ll share this little strategy that I think is working surprisingly well for me the last couple of days. I’ve been taking long, boring walks in the woods with my Voice Memo app open on my phone. I’ve been thinking through the story, wondering how things are proceeding from the perspective of different characters. As I have a realization of something that needs to be eliminated or beefed up in this next draft, I simply mumble it into my phone.
What I have now are dozens of fragmented, crazy voice memos that sound like, “Don’t forget, kids would be ice skating on the Little Lake in that second-to-last scene.” These breathless memos are accompanied by the sound of squeaky hiking boots and crunching leaves.
Now I’m typing these little epiphanies ahead of the chapters to which they relate, and then I’ll at least tackle the next draft with those big picture reminders in place.
Anyway, here’s to resisting the urge to open another brand-new doc, and here’s to beginning again. What’s it look like for you?
Pressed Together (Book 1 of the Together Series) Blurb:
World War II is over at last, and the pier amusement park at Buckeye Lake, the “Playground of Ohio,” is lit up, loud, and ready to welcome a summer of better days. The energy of dance hall and roller coaster, though, is disorienting for Sgt. Drew Mathison, weary from battle and trying to track down the one man who can testify in his brother’s murder trial.
He’s not in the mood to celebrate when he simply cannot find that witness. Especially when he suspects Emily Graham, publisher of the Buckeye Lake Beacon, is hiding him. Doesn’t she understand the danger the fugitive has brought to Buckeye Lake?
Determined to save her childhood friend, the beautiful and quirky young woman manages to frustrate not just Drew but her family and community as she tries to fix a whole host of problems by herself.
As Drew and Emily square off amidst secrets and a dangerous game of hide-and-seek, falling in love might be the only way to save the summer … and another life.
*****
Kim Garee worked as a newspaper reporter before going into education. Now she’s a 6-12 school librarian and has been married to her husband, a high school principal, for twenty-six years. The couple has three grown children and three grown pets. Kim is also a portrait artist and miniature enthusiast who will hike and bike with anyone willing to go with her. She welcomes connections at www.kimgaree.com. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
How would you start a story with this photo? You could write from the POV of the man or woman. Since this photo was taken at a distance, as if someone was viewing them from several feet or yards away, I’m going to start the story from that person’s POV.
*****
At least this morning the Snipes weren’t sniping. Although their silence as they picked at their breakfast on the patio outside their cottage might not have been an improvement.
I stepped into the recently vacated cottage two doors down from the Snipes’ cottage, picked up the bundle of sheets, stepped outside to my cart, and dumped the load in.
They still weren’t talking. Mr. Snipe–actually Mr. Farrell–stared at the woods that lined the bottom of the hill and the lake. Mrs Snipe hadn’t lifted her head from her phone, that I’d seen. But I’d been in and out of cottages with my sister because Mom expected quick turn arounds when cleaning them for the next guests.
Mr. Snipe leaned across the table and murmured something.
Mrs. Snipe jerked her gaze from her phone.
Standing, Mr. Snipe glanced around and then in my direction.
I snatched up the first bottle in my cart and ducked into the empty cottage. Mom didn’t need Mr Snipe to complain about nosy maids. He’d gone out of his way to find things to complain about already.
After a decent interval, I returned to my cart.
Mrs. Snipe still sat at the table, her sunglasses pushed into her hair. Her wide eyes stared, unseeing, Terrified.
*****
Your turn. What are your ideas or first lines for starting a story with this photo?
Although there are as many ways to start a story, whether it’s flash fiction or a novel, as there are writers, I think the key to starting any story is to ground it. What does grounding it mean? I means that, as quickly as you can, drop in information about the who, what, when, and where of your scene. If you get these basics on the page at the beginning, readers know how to orient themselves in the story and are ready to follow the development of it.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be mysterious. In fact, if you include the why and how of a scene at the beginning, your readers are likely to be bored because you’ve told them the point of the scene before they can read it. But there’s a fine line between being mysterious and confusing. Below are some examples of the key to starting any story.
“The Cloak” by Robert Bloch–short story
“The sun was dying, and its blood spattered the sky as it crept into a sepulcher behind the hills. The keening winds sent the dry, fallen leaves scurrying towards the west, as though hastening them to the funeral of the sun.
“‘Nuts!’ said Henderson to himself, and stopped thinking.
“The sun was setting in a dingy red sky, and a dirty raw wind was kicking up the half-rotten leaves in a filthy gutter. Why should he waste time with cheap imagery?
“‘Nuts!’ said Henderson again.
“It was probably a mood evoked by the day, he mused. After all, this was the sunset of Halloween. Tonight was the dreaded All Hallows Eve, when spirits walked in and skulls cried out from their graves beneath the earth.
“Either that, or tonight was just another rotten cold fall day. Henderson sighed.”
Who: Henderson
When: Halloween. The word “Nuts” indicates mid-20th century America
Where: Probably American from the word “Nuts” and the reference to Halloween
What: It takes a few more paragraphs, but readers discover Henderson is looking for a costume shop, and this hunt launches the story.
The Time Machine by H. G. Wells–novel
“The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us. His grey eyes shone and twinkled, and his usually pale face was flushed and animated. The fire burned brightly, and the soft radiance of the incandescent light in the lilies of sliver caught the bubbles that flashed and passed in our glasses. Our chairs, being his patents, embraced and caressed us rather than submitted to be sat upon, and there was that luxurious after-dinner atmosphere when thought runs gracefully free of the trammels of precision.”
Who: The Time Traveller
When: The diction and the way the after dinner atmosphere is described sounds like late 19th or early 20th century.
Where: The Time Traveller’s house, because of the reference to the chairs he made for his guests.
What: Friends of the Time Traveller, and the narrator is one of them, are relaxing with drinks after a meal he has served them
In the next paragraph, the Time Traveller begins his discussion of dimensions and time travel, so in two paragraphs readers know the basics of the scene and the problem that will be presented.
“Bovine” by JPC Allen–short story
“Yes. Yes.
“I scanned the miniscule living room. The mixture of search and destruction was quite similar to that found in the apartment of my agent after his robbery three years ago.
“Seat cushions, some ripped open, lay scattered on the hardwood floor with tossed books interspersed among them. Lamps overturned. A glass-topped table shattered.
“I inhaled deeply.
“Odd. I hadn’t expected staging a crime scene to bring out the artist in me. Although all my efforts were probably wasted on the audience for which I had prepared it.
“The reason I’d asked Sara to stay at her writer’s retreat for a few weeks was because law enforcement in such a forsaken county of this forsaken state had to be mediocre at best. From what I had learned through my research of the police presence in Marlin County, Ohio, the officers could trip over a body with a suicide note pinned to the shirt and still mull over the possibility of murder.”
Who: Unnamed male narrator who is an artist of some kind and a snob
When: Probably contemporary
Where: A writer friend’s retreat in Marlin County, Ohio
What: Staging a crime scene
The narrator’s motives for staging a the scene are unknown to readers. But even though they are in the dark about what the character is up to, readers do understand what is taking place and are getting a sense of who is narrating, so they can imagine the scene and follow the story.
What are some of your favorite opening scenes? Put the first lines in the comments
To start a story with this scene, I’m going to repeat an exercise I used in some writing prompts a couple of years ago. Look at the scene and imagine what you as the character see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. Make a list like the one below.
Sights–Dark, the full moon throws weird shadows and odd silver light
Sounds–hushed, still, creepy quiet, drips from soaked pine trees
Touch–cold, damp, no wind
Smells–dampness, maybe musty, cold enough to make your nose run, pine
Taste–?
Now that you have a list of sensations, you can select which ones you want to build into your description to set the scene as you start your story. Here’s mine.
My steps sounded like thunder claps as every time I broke a stick on the dirt path. The air was still. Not a breath of wind. The woods were eerily quiet too. No scurrying animals or bird calls. Only the steady drip from the drenched pine needles.
The light of the full moon was eerie too, layering a silver light over every edge that made the entire forest look not quite real.
No wonder a full moon night was supposed to be the only night the castle appeared.
Your turn. How would you start a story with this scene?
When you sit down to write a novel, the beginning seems to offer limitless possibilities and that can be a problem for some writers. It is for me. If you can start in one of a thousand ways, how do you choose? Knowing how not to start a novel can be as helpful as how to start one.
Don’t start with your main character’s ordinary day.
Like a lot of new writers, I began my stories with two misconceptions: (1) my characters were fascinating to everybody, and (2) I should start my story by showing my characters following their normal routines. Once readers got to know my characters, I’d bring in the problem or event that changed their ordinary lives and kick off the plot. I didn’t think I needed to start with the main problem.
Now I know better. My characters will never fascinate readers in the same way they do me, just like my kids will never fascinate other people the way they do my husband and me. Also most daily routines are boring. Boring readers for a couple of chapters, if they last that long, should not be the goal of any writer.
Looking back, I see why I started like that. It was easier to introduce characters and backstory without having a pesky plot to deal with. Dribble in characters and description and backstory while the plot is under way? That’s hard!
But don’t start with dramatic action.
If you start with car chases and brawls before readers get to know your characters, (1) they won’t care about the danger your characters are in because they don’t know them and (2) you’ll have to increase the action throughout the book because the climax must be more intense than the opening.
And don’t use false starts.
What are false starts? The riveting scene that turns out to be a dream of the main character or a scene in a movie or book he or she is enjoying. I also don’t like beginnings that grab part of the climax and put it up front. Then the rest of the book is about how the characters reach that scene. Usually, by the time I get to the climax, I’ve forgotten the part that started the story.
Since I’ve never written a prologue, I can’t say whether they’re effective or not. Many authors do use them. I think the decision to use a prologue depends upon the story your’e writing.
So how to begin? Start with tension.
If you’re opening has tension, it will entice the reader to keep reading.
I’M NOT FOOLED, RAE. YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER.
I stared at the sheet of copier paper in my hand as the note fluttered in a gust of January wind.
Really? It had only taken three weeks for someone to hate me and my mom enough to leave an anonymous insult?
The book opens with my main character Rae receiving an anonymous note. The questions in her mind are transferred to the reader. Why is she receiving this note? What has happened in the last three weeks to her and her mom? Now I have Rae go through her ordinary day. But it isn’t ordinary anymore because as she works at the library as a check-out clerk, she wonders who could have sent the note.
The shout made me jerk and get poked by a dead branch of a honeysuckle bush.
Wasn’t that a woman’s voice? Not a girl’s, not my cousin Coral’s.
Swiveling on my hips, I sat higher and caught strands of my dark gold hair on the bush. The fox cubs or kits or whatevers I’d been photographing leaped and rolled over each other between muted beams of sunlight, undisturbed.
Two voices, one higher, one lower, slipped through the budding understory shrubs and bushes .
Who would be out in the woods on the morning of Memorial Day between my cousin’s farm and my dad’s?
Rae’s tension is tension for readers. Who has Rae overheard? Has something happened to her cousin? Those questions keep readers turning the page.
Your turn. What are some of your favorite openings to a story? What are some examples of how not to start a novel?
