Last week, I discussed writing lessons you can learn from reading the classic action-adventure short story, The Most Dangerous Game. This week, I’m switching gears dramatically to feature a humorous short story. About twenty years ago, I discovered author Patrick F. McManus and his hilarious collections of essays and short stories that usually appeared in magazines like Outdoor Life before they were published in book form. I’ve selected one of his short stories, published in the book Kerplunk in 2007, for my writing lessons from Patrick F. McManus.

“Silent But Deadly”

This short story isn’t only a comic gem but takes place at Thanksgiving, making it an even more appropriate choice.

To start with, this story written in a different style than most current fiction. Instead of plunging readers into the unfolding action, Mr. McManus lets readers from the beginning that this is a reminiscence from his teenage years. So the narrator isn’t teenage Pat, but adult Pat sharing what happened to teenage Pat. This also allows Mr. McManus to change viewpoints, which heightens the humor.

As teen Pat recovers on the couch from the family’s Thanksgiving dinner, he notices his grandmother feeding the leftover turkey gravy to his dog, Strange. Strange wandered onto the family’s farm in remote Idaho and is the kind of dog that bites the hand that feeds him and causes all sorts of catastrophes. Pat has to get ready for his first date with his girlfriend Olga after she broke up with him because he was “insensitive, inattentive, inane, ignorant, and gross.”

The author now describes what he imagines happened to Strange after he slurped down all that gravy. ” … he begins to inflate. His skin grows taut over his body, which expands until it gradually envelops his legs up to his paws … He takes on the appearance of a small hairy zeppelin.” Strange floats into and hides in the beat up car that Pat drives, named Mrs. Peabody, to pick up Olga.

One technique I love to use when including humor in my mysteries is the “call back.” This is also used by comedians. I write something funny, and then I reuse it in a different context. Calling it back makes the second instance of the humor even funnier.

After listing the five reasons Olga broke up with him, Mr. McManus calls them back in Pat’s dialogue with Olga.

*****

“‘That is so nice of you and your mom, helping the poor,’ I replied sensitively.”

“We headed off toward the church.”

“‘You look very nice this evening,’ I said attentively.”

“‘Thank you,’ she replied.

“‘You have a nice Thanksgiving?’ I asked, trying to voice the inane.”

*****

Not long after that, Strange, still hidden from Pat and Olga, “suddenly, silently, sinisterly, deflated”.

Mr. McManus describes the awful effect of Strange’s deflation with, of course, Pat assuming Olga is the culprit. Pretending he hasn’t noticed his eyes are streaming, he looks at the pastries Olga made for the poor and is holding in a box on her lap and asks, “You do that big one?”

Another technique Mr. McManus uses to increase the humor is to jump ahead in time. He doesn’t describe in real time Olga’s reaction to Pat’s question. The next lines starts, “Driving home alone shortly thereafter …”

Pat is pulled over by the sheriff, who hates Mrs. Peabody, because it is such a heap. He also happens to be Olga’s father. The exchange between Pat and the sheriff reveals the climax, making it even funnier than if the story had been told in a straight, linear way.

If you love clean, humorous stories, you should check out Patrick F. McManus short story collections.

Here are more tips for writing humor.

What are your favorite funny short stories?

Although I knew I wanted to be a writer in second grade, I rarely liked what I had to read for English class. The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell was a happy exception. I’d forgotten how the good the short story was until I stumbled across it while killing time at a high school where my oldest was competing in a quiz tournament. Rereading this classic reminded me that a short story a hundred years old can teach current writers. So here are my writing lessons from The Most Dangerous Game.

How to Use Foreshadowing in a Story

The introduction packs a lot of foreshadowing in a small space. The main character Sanger Rainsford, a well-known American hunter, and his friend Whitney discuss an island that the ship they are traveling on is passing by in the Caribbean. Whitney says the sailors fear it. Mr. Connell does a wonderful job of building dread and tension about Ship-Trap Island.

“The place has a reputation–a bad one.”

“Cannibals?” suggested Rainsford.

“Hardly. Even cannibals wouldn’t live in such a God-forsaken place.”

An island too awful for cannibals? Readers have to be wondering about this island. Whitney goes on to quote how the captain fears it and then adds:

“Sometimes, I think evil is a tangible thing –with wave lengths, just as sound and light have. An evil place can, so to speak, broadcast vibrations of evil.”

Even more foreshadowing occurs after Rainsford accidentally falls from the yacht at night. He hears gun fire and swims toward the sound, finally making it to the island. Looking for the man behind the shots, Rainsford follows the shore.

“Not far from where he landed, he stopped.

Some wounded thing –by the evidence, a large animal — had thrashed about in the underbrush.”

The author is troweling on the dread through foreshadowing, so he’d better have a good pay off for readers. And does he.

Rainsford finds the owner of the island, General Zaroff, living in a palatial chateau. He learns the general is a born hunter who has hunted all over the world until he was so good, he grew bored with the sport. Until he hit on a new animal to hunt — man.

So many movies, books, and TV episodes have done a variation of this plot that it doesn’t seem fresh any more. But when the short story was first published, it must have been shocking. And the fact that so many shows have copied it since its publication proves Mr. Connell concocted a plot with universal appeal.

How to Write a Suspenseful Scene

Rainsford has no choice but to participate in the general’s mad hunt. After evading pursuit for a day, he spends a night in a tree to get some rest. But in the morning …

It was General Zaroff. He made his way along with his eyes fixed in utmost concentration on the ground before him. He paused, almost beneath the tree, dropped to his knees and studied the ground. Rainsford’s impulse was to hurl himself down like a panther, but he was the general’s hand held something metallic—a small automatic pistol.

The hunter shook his head several times, as if he were puzzled. Then he straightened up and took from his case one of his black cigarettes; its pungent incense like smoke floated up to Rainsford’s nostrils.

Rainsford held his breath. The general’s eyes had left the ground and were traveling inch by inch up the tree. Rainsford froze there, every muscle tensed for a spring. But the sharp eyes of the hunter stopped before they reach the limb where Rainsford lay; a smile spread of his brown face.

You create suspense by slowing down a scene and that’s what Mr. Connell does, giving readers more and more details to drag out whether the general has spotted Rainsford.

A Great Final Line

Besides the unique plot, another thing The Most Dangerous Game is remembered for is its great final line. It ties off the plot so appropriately. If Mr. Connell had written a novel, readers would expect more resolution. But for a short story, this final line is perfect, leaving out details to let the imagination of readers to take over.

Have you read The Most Dangerous Game? What do you think of it?

Here are more lessons on short story writing.

Last week, I asked about your favorite characters. I’m sure most of the ones you mentioned were the heroes of the story. So why am I asking who are your favorite villains? I don’t mean evil characters we root for. I mean those bad guys who are the perfect contrast to the hero. Or their villainy says something true about life. Or they are so bad that it’s a delight to see their wicked plans foiled.

The detective series Columbo wouldn’t have been so popular in the 70s if the murderers Lt. Columbo was pitted against weren’t so arrogant, superior and often nasty. Viewers wanted the rumpled, humble cop to bring these wealthy elites low.

The villains in Death on the Nile are some of my favorites. Their relationship is complicated and not what you’d expect, especially from Agatha Christie, who isn’t known for the depth of her characterizations.

So tell me who are your favorite villains. Stories just wouldn’t be the same without them!

Faces have a way of grabbing my attention. And if the face has an intriguing expression, I’m pulled in even more. This photo is one of those faces. What is this character seeing? I think something has taken her by surprise, but her face hasn’t registered yet whether it’s a pleasant, unpleasant, or even frightening surprise. It’s like the camera captured the moment before something important is revealed.

What do you think this character is seeing? Put your ideas in the comments. You can even write a short scene. Like mine.

*****

“It looks great, Lee.” My best friend Hannah glanced up from the screen on her camera. “Let’s take a few more and then you can change your outfit.”

I nodded and patched together a smile. After smiling for a half hour for senior pictures, my cheek muscles were wearing out.

Hannah lowered her camera. “Let’s try some without smiling. Or just a hint of a smile. Or just look over the woods and lake like I’m not here, and I’ll try to get some candid shots.”

I dropped my fake smile with relief. But how could I pretend I wasn’t doing senior pictures? I’d never wear these nice clothes to the lake.

As a breeze massaged my hair, I looked away from Hannah, past the benches along the edge of the water, to the lawn and parking lot, slowly moving my head like I was just taking in the–

My head, my eyeballs, every cell froze.

“Great, Lee.” Hannah clicked away.

That couldn’t be …

*****

Here are more writing prompts to inspire characters.

We had a lot of fun with a series of photo prompts that led to the basic building blocks for a YA story last year, so let’s create a YA story again this month for my theme of YA fiction. Each Monday, I’ll give you a choice of elements in order to create a YA story. This week, I have four photos of teens, and you can tell me in the comments which one you would like to be the main character for our story. The one with the most votes wins!

Here is a link to previous YA stories readers selected the key elements for. Be sure to vote in the comments.