At least in America, I think most Christians think it’s inappropriate to lament, maybe even sinful. Our trust in God is supposed to make us joyful. But there are passages of lamenting in the Bible. The most well-known is Jesus’ lament to His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, and Luke 22:39-46. So if Jesus can do it, His brothers and sisters can.

To understand lamenting, reading the Psalms that focus on that is helpful. Here are the opening verses of several Psalms that scholars classify as laments.

Psalm 3:1-2

Lord, how many are my foes? How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”

Psalm 5:1-2

Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.

Psalm 13:1

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

Psalm 22:1

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish.

Now read how these Psalms end.

Psalm 3:8

From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people.

Psalm 5:12

Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Psalm 13:6

I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.

Psalm 22:31

They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it!

So how do the writers of the Psalms move from anguish to joy? Well, read the Psalms I’ve highlighted and pray for guidance in how to understand them.

Here’s what I’ve learned for myself. First, I have to be honest with God about what I’m feeling. Many Christians approach God in their Sunday best, like their visiting their stern grandfather. God already knows what you’re thinking and feeling, so you can’t put a brave face on. He’s God. Not only can He take all the anguish you unload, He wants you to tell Him and to take it off you.

So I’m honest with God about my pain. No sugarcoating. I cry ugly and dump it all. When I think I’ve done all of that that is helpful, I can either recall all the good God has given me in the past. Or I can hand Him the pain, which can take a tremendous amount of will and concentration, and say, “You take care of it. I can’t.” And then I try to go about my business–make meals, go grocery shopping, write a blog post, whatever I would normally do during the day. If the pain stabs me again, I remind myself that I’ve left that with my Father. If I have to say that a hundred times in an hour, that’s fine. It can be remarkable how quickly I move out of anguish then.

What’s your opinion on lamenting?