As I’ve said in previous posts, tension is the engine that propels readers through a story. You can add tension to every aspect of writing, but this week, I’m going to focus on how to write high-tension dialogue in your novel.
How do you start to add tension?
Before you write one word of dialogue, ask yourself–what’s the point of this dialogue? Why do I need this dialogue in my novel? Start with the expectations in the genre you’re writing. For example, I write cozy mysteries for teens. Cozy mysteries almost always mean that the protagonist is an amateur sleuth, someone without official law enforcement or legal authority. That aspect alone creates tension for the detective character investigating the crime. Another expectation of cozy mysteries is that the amateur sleuth will question witnesses and suspects.
So one reason for writing dialogue between two characters is that my detective needs to uncover the first clue in the mystery. With that in mind, I can start the conversation. Since this dialogue isn’t the opening scene, I’ll have to give you some background: the protagonist is 18-year-old Harper. She’s investigating who stole a family album from her great-grandmother’s house. She’s speaking to a neighbor, Mr. Thompson.
*****
Mr. Thompson pulled weeds growing under a bush beside his front porch with a hoe.
I said, “Did you hear about somebody breaking into my great-grandma’s house and stealing a photo album a couple of days ago?”
He kept hoeing. “I heard something about that.”
“It was Friday evening. Did you see or hear anything unusual?”
“I didn’t know you joined the police force.”
“The cops don’t have a lot of time to investigate a stolen album that only has sentimental value. Gram’s really upset about the loss.”
“Then she should lock her doors.”
“A lot of people don’t in this town.”
The hoe flung a clump of weeds. “I wasn’t home Friday night until late. Went to visit my sister.”
My eyebrows lowered. “But Gram saw your car parked on your drive when she got home from the football game Friday night. That’s why she thought you might have seen something.”
He leaned on his hoe. “Your great-grandmothers is over eighty. She got her nights mixed up. I wasn’t here.”
Gram was old but not senile. Why was Mr. Thompson lying?
*****
It’s not bad. Readers have discovered the first clue, but there’s a ton of room to add tension. I have the meat of the scene. Now I need to add some seasoning by adding specific words that show Mr. Thompson’s hostility and Harper’s reluctance to speak to him.
*****
Mr. Thompson attacked weeds growing under a bush beside his front porch with a hoe.
My mouth dried, but I managed to get out, “Did you hear about somebody breaking into my great-grandma’s house and stealing a photo album a couple of days ago?”
He sunk his hoe into the hard ground. “I heard something about that.”
“It was Friday evening. Did you see or hear anything unusual?”
“I didn’t know you joined the police force.”
Hard to believe but my mouth dried even more. “The cops don’t have a lot of time to investigate a stolen album that only has sentimental value. Gram’s really upset about the loss.”
“Then she should lock her doors.” He flicked a clump of weeds from the end of his hoe.
“A lot of people don’t in this town.”
The hoe flung another clump.. “I wasn’t home Friday night until late. Went to visit my sister.”
My eyebrows lowered. “But Gram saw your car parked on your drive when she got home from the football game Friday night. That’s why she thought you might have seen something.”
The hoe bit into the ground again, and he leaned on it toward me.
I drew back.
“Your great-grandmother’s over eighty. She got her nights mixed up. I wasn’t here.” He fixed me with a steely glare and then swung his hoe.
Gram was old but not senile. Why was Mr. Thompson lying?
*****
This is better, but I can add even more tension by dropping in some backstory. But only a dollop. Like red pepper flakes, a little backstory goes a long, long way. One way to keep it under control is to get in the head of your protagonist. What thoughts would be passing through Harper’s mind as she approaches and interacts with Mr. Thompson?
*****
I stepped onto Gram’s front stoop.
Mr. Thompson attacked weeds growing under a bush beside his front porch with a hoe.
Why did Gram’s next door neighbor have to be the most unneighborly neighbor on the street?
My mouth dried, like it did every time I had to do a presentation for class, but I managed to get out, “Did you hear about somebody breaking into my great-grandma’s house and stealing a photo album a couple of days ago?”
…. the rest of the story is the same as above.
*****
So adding a little backstory gives readers information that makes them understand the characters better and the feelings and reactions of the protagonist.
Since this conversation uncovers Harper’s first clue, the dialogue isn’t as intense as it should be if she was confronting Mr. Thompson at the climax. Scenes and dialogues should grow more tense as you approach the climax with the climax being the most intense part of your novel.
Here are more tips on writing plots for novels.
Which authors are exceptionally good at creating tension in their novels?
