Writing Shy or Stoic Characters

A reader asked for a repost on character development in writing, so here is my most popular post dealing with that topic this year, writing shy or stoic characters.

The Problem with Shy or Stoic Characters

Shy or stoic characters present a particular problem with the prevalent style of show, don’t tell. Show, don’t tell is becoming more and more visual, as Janice Hardy points out in her book Understanding Show, Don’t Tell ( and Really Getting It). People expect to be able to “see” a story like they do movies. So expressive characters with broad mannerisms and incisive, funny, or simply lots of dialogue are easier to build on the page. The subtleties an actor uses to convey a character’s shyness or stoicism can be difficult to put into words.

Drawing Attention to Shy or Stoic Characters

I have a few shy or stoic characters, and they’ve stretched my writing skills as I’ve tried to construct them realistically.

Chris Kincaid is a possible boyfriend for my main character, young adult amateur sleuth Rae Riley. He’s twenty-three with a fierce features that usually mask his true emotions. One way I’ve dealt with Chris’s lack of expression is for Rae to notice and correctly deduce what slight changes in his facial features mean. Rae is the kind of character who notices small details like that because she’s also an amateur photographer. So when she sees a muscle tense a ong his jaw or his eyebrows raise more than millimeter, she knows he’s experiencing a strong emotion. It’s also fun to write because I can make it funny.

“I don’t know what to do.” The muscle along Chris’s jaw tightened.

Wow. I didn’t know Chris found the situation so infuriating.

Another character, Luke Norris, is in his sixties and basically a shy man. He’s the father of Rae’s uncle. One way I can convey that trait is to place him on the outskirts of group scenes.

As the church members lined up for the potluck dinner arrayed on the various tables, Mr. Norris waited near the front door, tugging on the end of his moustache.

When he does speak, I need to make every word count even more than with other characters because he’d only speak when he felt it was necessary.

Other ways to convey shyness are hiding techniques–pressing into a wall, using an object as a shield, avoiding eye contact, shrinking into themselves, focusing on a task or object rather than a person.

Stoicism can be shown with mannerisms instead of dialogue. Nods or shakes of the head instead of “Yes” or “No”. Leaving a scene when angry or upset without a word.

What words or mannerisms have you seen a shy or stoic person use? Who is a memorable shy or stoic character?

Here are more tips on writing characters for novels.

December 4, 2025 1

When You Have to Tell, Don’t Show

Yes, you read the title right. And you may look as shocked as the woman in the photo. There are times in a story when you have to tell, don’t show. The reverse of the time-honored technique of “show, don’t tell” can be appropriate in certain situations involving plot.

When You Don’t Want to Repeat Information

If my deputy interviews a suspect and then informs his sheriff, I don’t have to repeat the entire conversation. I can just state the obvious.

The sheriff scooted back in his swivel chair. “Did you finally get a hold of Old Man Thompson?”

I repeated what Mr. Thompson had said about the crime. “But he stumbled around his words. I think he’s hiding something.”

Or I can add a little information, such as:

Mom said, “So what happened in school today?”

Sighing, I took a seat at the kitchen table and told her about the whole miserable mess, only leaving out what Ava said to me.

Repeating information that readers have already read is not helpful, unless you need characters to discuss or think about a specific point.

When You Need to Compress Time

I use this one a lot in my mysteries because the case unfolds over several weeks. If the investigation has stalled, I don’t need to “show” every attempt the cops make at solving the crime. I can compress their investigation into a sentence, like this:

After a week, Sheriff Malinowski was no closer to finding the killer than when he had walked onto the crime scene.

The point of my “tell” is jump ahead in the story’s timeline, and I can do that in one sentence, keeping the story moving.

When You Have to Mention a Plot Point for Realism

I often want to convey to readers that the mystery my main character is confronting is a very hard nut to crack. I can do that with a “tell” like this.

After a week, Sheriff Malinowski was no closer to finding the killer than when he had walked onto the crime scene. No one had come forward with any new information, and researching the victim’s socials had yielded not one lead.

In one sentence, I can convey that there is no new information for readers without creating a lot of pointless dialogue or scenes. It also makes the mystery more realistic to tell that the police are struggling to solve it. Most likely, I will have a “show” scene first, in which a few officers talk about leads they’ve followed and that led them nowhere. Then I follow that with my “tell” sentence, demonstrating that the struggle continues.

I also use “tell” sections for realism concerning my main character’s family life. Rae Riley is part of a large extended family, who are critical to the series, but not all their actions affect the mystery in each book. But I want to give readers a sense of the family dynamic, so I might use a “tell” sentence like this:

After I helped Gram clean up the supper dishes, I helped Micah with his sight words and gave out Spanish vocab to Rusty. When Dad came home, I had to wait until he’d finished his late supper before I could ask him about the case.

The two sentences tell readers something about Rae’s family without getting bogged down in a lot of unnecessary detail.

Keep It Brief

“Tell” sections are always brief in current stories. You can’t get away with more than a paragraph or two. If you find yourself writing a whole page of “tell” information, you should review what you’ve written and see how you can create a “show” scene for most of it.

What are your thoughts on “show, don’t tell” and “tell, don’t show”?

For more tips on plot, click here.

May 15, 2025 1

Advice for Writing by the Seat of Your Pants

When I give writing advice, I base most of it off my own experience. I’m mostly a pantser–writing by the seat of my pants–instead of a plotter–a writer who works mostly from outlines, some of them very detailed. So it’s difficult for me to give advice on how to plot because a lot of it comes to me spontaneously as I write a scene. But I don’t think it’s fair for plotters to have reams of books to turn to for advice, while we pantsers only have our instincts. So below is advice for writing by the seat of your pants, lessons I’ve learned from writing and publishing three short stories and three novels.

No One is Totally a Pantser

I haven’t met a writer yet who hasn’t thought deeply about his or her story before sitting down to write it. No writer begins writing without a single thought as to what he or she wants to write. One writer may keep all the story ideas in her head until she writes the first scene. Another may make some general notes on scenes he knows he wants to include.

I write characters’ motivations, not in story. form, but like a report.

“John owns ten care dealerships. He likes showing off his wealth. He was no close family. He’s driven to keep adding to his business empire.”

Since I write mysteries I’ll also write in report form how the crime was committed and why.

“John killed Mary because she knew he’d bribed their local senator. He used a gun he stole from his best friend.”

Pay Attention to Your Process

I think a lot of writers are pantsers because they enjoy the freedom of a limited outline and the joy of discovery while they write. I love it when I realize a plot point I’ve never considered:

Wait a minute. Old Man Thompson was seen at the grocery store before the murder, and my amateur sleuth’s cousin works there. Maybe she saw something! What could her cousin have seen that will help crack the case?

But to be productive we need to pay attention to the writing process that works best for us. I’ve tried too many times to change how I write a novel in order to complete it faster. While nearing the end of my third Rae Riley novel, I thought I could outline the rest of the chapters and make the actual writing go faster.

Nothing doing. I had to stick with the process that works for me: sketch out a few scenes in the next four or five chapters, write them by hand, edit while typing them, decide if they’re any good, and then sketch the next few chapters.

No Wrong Way

There are as many ways to write as there are writers. The only wrong way is one where you can’t finish the story. So if you’re pantser, proclaim it proudly, sit down, and take a wild, writing ride.

For more post on the writing process, click here.

Writers, are you a plotter or a pantser or a bit of both?

May 8, 2025 1

Grab Readers with First Lines

This month’s theme is plot, so I’m kicking off with the first part of any plot–the opening lines of your story and the need to grab readers with first lines. Beginnings are tricky. Authors need to snag readers’ attention while also introducing them to characters and their world.

Begin with Action …

And I don’t mean a bomb going off, although some writers start that way with excellent effect. Start with an action that’s attached to the problem the hero will have to solve. Since I write mysteries, I introduce the puzzle my detective has to solve as soon as I can in the first chapter.

In my first novel, A Shadow on the Snow, the first line is the text of the first anonymous note my amateur sleuth Rae Riley receives.

I’M NOT FOOLED, RAE. YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

So from the beginning readers know Rae will try to unmask who is sending her threatening notes.

In A Storm of Doubts, I open with:

“Just stop it!”

The shout made me jerk and get poked by a dead branch of a honeysuckle bush.

That line makes readers wonder who is shouting, who is listening, and if there’s a problem.

… and Attitude

Conveying your main character’s (MC) personality in the first few lines also grabs readers attention. I think I have it easier than a lot of writers because I write from first person POV. When readers know it’s a first person story, they also know they’re slipping into the MC’s skin and are experiencing the world from their perspective. That makes writing much easier, and a lot of fun, for me.

I was introduced to the Nero Wolfe mystery series with the novel, Too Many Cooks, in college. From the opening line, I knew I had to read more because I got a definite attitude from the narrator, Archie Goodwin.

Walking up and down the platform alongside the train in the Pennsylvania Station, having wiped sweat from my brow, I lit a cigarette with the feeling that after it had calmed my nerves a little I would be prepared to submit bid for a contract to move the Pyramid of Cheops from Egypt to the top of the Empire State Building with my bare hands, in a swimming-suit; after what I had just gone through.

What stories have you read that grabbed your attention from the first lines?

For more tips on writing plots, click here.

May 1, 2025 1

Reveal Character Traits through Music

Since this month’s theme is about how other arts influence our writing, today I’m reposting about how to reveal character traits through music. A character’s relationship to music is a less common way to show parts of their personality and can freshen your character descriptions.

You are Your Music

My teen detective Rae Riley is, first and foremost, an amateur photographer. It’s the way she sees the world. But, like a lot of creative people, she enjoys other arts. She played drums in her high school marching band and jazz band. Making her a drummer gives her personality another layer. She’s playing an instrument that leans more toward males, so some might see her choice as unusual or offbeat (ha!).

When I was in band, certain personalities tended to pick certain instruments. The Type A, straight arrows played flute and trumpet. The clarinet was the everyman or woman of the band. The more quirky kids picked trombone, saxophone, or percussion. My character’s choice of instrument can say a lot about who he or she is.

If you need to draw disparate characters together, making them all musicians gives them a common interest and a plausible reason for people who might not normally associate with each other to interact. In A Shadow on the Snow, Rae joins three young police officers in jam sessions because they play outlaw country music for fun and didn’t have a drummer. (Yes, it’s supposed to be funny that cops like outlaw country.)

The fact that these Gen Z cops are playing music from the 70’s says something about their personalities. Houston, who sings lead and plays lead guitar, explains how he can’t stand current country music. His love for outlaw country can mean any number of things. Maybe he’s not concerned with following popular trends. Or he doesn’t like how big business takes over an art form; he likes art for art’s sake. Or he just likes to be different, to stand out from the crowd.

When Rae and the cops take a break from jamming, they play songs from their playlists. I can use their choices to say something about their characters. Since Rae doesn’t know the three young men well, she hesitates over her selections because her playlist contains what she considers some pretty obscure songs. So she picks more popular songs. Her choice shows her uncertainty in this new social situation. Out of the four characters. the bass player is the only one to pick instrumental pieces instead of songs. I can use that deviation from the other characters to reveal something about him.

Now it’s your turn. Have you written or read about characters who love music? How did the author use music to show character?

For more tips on character development, click here.

April 10, 2025 1

Tag: How to write a story