Last week, I posted advice on how to write an action scene for a novel. Now I’m back with how to write suspense scenes in a novel: a step-by-step guide. In one way, suspense scenes are the flip side of actions scenes. Action scenes build tension through actions that pile up on one another, quickening the pace of the story. Suspense scenes build tension by slowing the pace, forcing readers to think about what the protagonist may face when the suspense is resolved.
Below is a scene from my short story, “Bovine.” A snobby New York novelist, Harrison Sharpe, has planned what he thinks is the perfect murder of his supermodel wife, Ari. The point of this scene is to make readers worry if he’ll succeed.
*****
The cabin peeped through the trees, a light in the window of the living room the only visible illumination. I made a wide circle around the hovel, the damp seeping through the ill-made soles of my shoes. The rest of the house was dark.
- I’m setting the mood in these lines–it’s dark and the cabin is isolated. I don’t have to describe the setting much because this scene is part of the climax, so readers are already familiar with the cabin and the landscape around it.
Slipping off my mask, I walked to the back door, unlocked it, entered, and lifted the shield to the control panel for the alarm.
- I’m taking the time to add details that heighten the tension. Not only does this help readers imagine what Harrison is doing, it’s delaying the revelation of his wife’s fate.
Strange. The warning beep hadn’t blared to life.
I peered at the control screen. It indicated Ari hadn’t bothered to set the alarm.
Very thoughtful.
- These lines reveal plot points that will be explained later.
Lowering the shield, I waited for Ari to greet me.
But the house was still, the hum of the refrigerator the only noise.
She must have gone to bed.
The light from a single lamp in the living room touched the kitchen. I found the drawer for utensils and withdrew the chef’s knife. Tugging my mask into place, I passed through the living room and into the hall, my heart gathering speed.
- I reinforce the loneliness of the setting while giving details of Harrison’s progress through the house. The details should also make readers’ hearts gather speed.
The door to the master bedroom stood half open.
I pushed it aside and slipped into the room.
“Ari,” I called softly to a mound of comforters and quilts on the queen-sized bed.
No sound, no movement.
“Ari.”
No response.
- Each time his wife doesn’t react, the suspense mounts.
I clenched the knife and my teeth. Had she taken a sedative instead of her migraine medicine? Her insensibility would drain all the enjoyment from my plan. She had to know she couldn’t humiliate me in front of the whole world and steal my money. She had to know before she died.
- His action and internal monologue makes Harrison’s motives crystal clear and raises the stakes, creating suspense.
I rounded the chest situated at the foot of the bed.
Silence.
As my heart rocketed into high velocity, I switched on the flashlight.
The mound was so high that I couldn’t detect Ari’s head. The bracelet twinkled on the nightstand. I’d pocket that when I was finished.
*****
I’m not revealing how I resolve the suspense because few things are worse than a spoiled mystery. If you’d like to read all of “Bovine”, you can buy the anthology it belongs to here.
Here are more tips on writing scenes for novels.
Which authors do you think are especially talented at writing suspense?